Posts tagged ‘death’
POEMS & FLEETING THOUGHTS
FEAR
I am not afraid d
Of dying,
What I fear most
Is not living.
REALITY
Death is an
Important moment
Of life,
Not because
You are gone,
But because
Your days
Of accomplishing
Are over.
These two pieces were written with the thoughts of how
we are constantly told what to do to prolong life.
But in reality, the prolonged life may be a life of
little value.
Old age does take its toll.
And some thoughts when you achieve an age
you can’t believe are in conflict with the past
and present.
POEMS & FLEETING THOUGHTS
THE 50 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION
Recently, about a year ago or so I was invited to the reunion of the 50th anniversary of my high school graduating class. Called by a guy I vaguely remembered, we talked about our lives and about my attendance. I said I would not.
Here are the reasons.
I had a crush on a few girls. Admiring their slender bodies, those wonderful maturing bodies with developing breasts and legs of infinite beauty. I shared friendships with guys who shared my interests. We all were young looking to the future.
Honestly, I do not want to know if those young, hopeful classmates fulfilled their dreams. How the world treated their hopes. I do not want to know of the failed marriages, the disappointing careers, the lives spent in no way matching what they planned. And perhaps I do not want them to know how my life and dreams came to fruition not planned.
Avoiding the reunion, gives me the opportunity to preserve the memory of those youthful smiles, faces full of hope and dreams. I do not want those visions erased by the reality of the elderly remnants of a past gone. And foremost, I do want the knowledge of those who have died.
This is a weakness.
When I have a dear friend dying, I visit while we can talk about passed experiences. While we can talk about life but never their thoughts of what comes next.
I have no desire to gaze upon the reality of life while remembering the past while those I held dear are they nothing but shells waiting for the end. I want to remember them, all of them, with eyes to the future, not how that future dealt with their dreams.
POEMS & FLEETING THOUGHTS: TERRORISM
Brussels
Innocent they gather
For the usual experience,
While those deprived
Of a future
Plot their destruction,
Lives torn apart,
Bodies torn apart
On both sides
Of the equation,
Where is the meaning
The hope
When hate overcomes
The value of life?
A FRIEND GONE, SALLY
A companion, living most of the past months on my lap, Sally is gone. I have mentioned her in this blog before.
Originally my daughter Lynn’s cat, an SPCA rescue, but as education and work took Lynn to other locations, Sally stayed behind
At the age of nearly 16 her kidney failure overpowered her. She left this world on March 8, 2016, barely able to stand. I had to make the final decision. She had bounced back numerous times in the past, but this time was different. There was no bouncing back.
I never thought I would be become a ‘cat person’, but I did become a ‘Sally person’. We shared many nights together on my recliner, and many mornings when her hunger wanted me awake. I miss her. She won my heart, and I will always remember her.
MARK TWAIN & ME & DEATH & TIME
A daily practice of mine is to look at the weather forecasts. Included in the facts are the temperature highs and lows associated with that date. I sometimes dwell on the years these records were set, years when I did not exist. Could I be considered dead on those dates? Is the definition of death that interval before and after your existence?
What got me thinking of this topic was a quote I read a few days ago. A quote of Mark Twain’s when he was asked if he feared death. The great writer said, “I do not fear death. I have been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
This quote sums up exactly what I have been secretly pondering for years. But the part that bothers me is the ‘billions and billions of years’.
I have been both intrigued and mystified by the universe’s creation, the ‘Big Bang’. What follows are questions I have pondered, and the more I learn, the greater my confusion. What came before the ‘Big Bang’? Did time exist before that colossal event? For time is the interval between two events, and if there are no events, can there be time? Time would have to exist while the three other dimensions had not come into existence.
As a side-note, I have been working on a short story, The Event, for some time now and the story is tangled up in the notion of the ‘Big Bang’ and what came before.
As far as I know, the current theory speculates that the Higgs boson created the ‘Big Bang’, a particle which is able to create mass. But what created the Higgs boson, a particle which had to exist before the ‘Big Bang’. Just for a moment, let’s play with science. We all know the existence of the formula E=Mc2 Now, if the Higgs boson created matter, did light exist at that time? For, if light did not exist, E=M0 equals no energy or mass. So how can mass be created if light does not exist? Am I pursuing mind games are these answers known?
I’ve always thought of the ‘Big Bang’ as a combination of God and science, where physics and religion meet in a profound outcome. Was Mark Twain, and us all, dead before life for billions and billions of years, or for infinity?
UPDATE
My consistent readers,
For those who follow my blog, you know that this was the year from hell for me.
I just thought I’d share this thought.
I stared at death,
And did not blink.
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