Archive for November, 2025
THE UNIVERSE IN BALANCE: A SHORT STORY, NATURE RULES
Accepted for publication by The Corner Bar in March 2024. One of the first stories I wrote, and it took me many years to get it right.
God does not play dice with the universe.
—- Albert Einstein
God not only plays dice; he also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen.
—- Stephen Hawking
THE UNIVERSE IN BALANCE
Prof. Maxwell Lowman sat in his MIT office deep in thought. It was mid-afternoon, the blinds were lowered and closed creating the setting he desired. The sole illumination a reading lamp on his desk, a desk littered with books, research papers and correspondence. His office, lined with bookshelves contained works reflecting his eclectic interests running from poetry to the latest volumes in astrophysics.
With his salt and pepper eyebrows and mane of unruly gray hair he looked every part of the college professor. Lowman was an expert on the ‘Big Bang’, as if anyone could claim that title, he often thought. An expert. Might as well be an expert on heaven. Another doctrine born of conjecture. He often mused, “Why did the ‘Big Bang’ take place? How did it give birth to the universe? Questions yet to be solved. And to some, the answers relying on faith. The same as the existence of heaven. But unlike heaven, there was proof, in theory, that the ‘Big Bang’ did take place but for what reason did the universe exist? The question of why the universe came into existence is unanswerable. How is a matter of conjecture.
Lowman’s mind continued on a journey he had come to enjoy. Where some unknown force, some would call God, held hands with science. How could the universe come into existence from nothing? He tried to imagine space before the ‘Big Bang’. Nothing existed. Time did not exist. Light did not exist. Before the ‘Big Bang’ did space exist. Some thought, before the ‘Big Bang’ space did not exist but then unfolded. Did anything come before the existence of nothing. He spent hours musing over these questions thinking, that perhaps, science could not and should not answer everything. Some mystery should remain.
* * *
Lowman was conducting his first graduate class of the semester covering the ‘Big Bang’. His lecture would be full of theory, but in reality, no answers. During the course of his lectures he encouraged questions. And these questions would determine the structure of his future lectures. And this year, with the important upcoming experiment, he wanted to introduce the Higgs boson.
During his lecture, one of his favorite pupils from the past year, Joe Hess, raised his hand and asked, “The ‘Big Bang’ is a mystery to me.”
Lowman said, “Well, you are not alone.”
Hess continued, “We know it happened, or else we wouldn’t be here. But where did all the matter in the universe come from?”
Lowman anticipated this question for it was asked every year. He began pacing along the front of the lecture hall to organize his thoughts for opinions were constantly changing. He began, “Stephen Hawking has a relatively new theory that all matter in the universe was created by the ‘God Particle’. In 1964 Peter Higgs predicted the existence of the Higgs boson which, in a book written by Leon Lederman, was referred to as the ‘God Particle’. The boson is central to our understanding of the structure of all matter”.
Lowman anticipated Joe’s next question, “But where did the ‘God Particle’ come from?”
“That, young man, is the question which remains unanswered. The theory is that the ‘God Particle’ populated the entire universe in the smallest fraction of a second at a speed far beyond the speed of light. Of course, it is accepted that nothing can exceed the speed of light, but we must remember, that when this occurred light did not exist. Time did not exist, so anything is possible. When the ‘Big Bang’ occurred, it is theorized that the universe consisted of equal parts of dark matter, which is now accepted to exist, and visible matter. For reasons unknown, the amount of visible matter surpassed the amount of dark matter. And that is the reason that the universe – stars, black holes and you and I – exist.
Lowman concluded his lecture by telling the class, “I am sure you are aware that tomorrow a unique experiment will be conducted. It will attempt to duplicate the material which existed immediately following the ‘Big Bang’. And perhaps create the particle which existed at the moment of the ‘Big Bang’, the ‘God Particle’. He concluded the lecture, and as the class exited the lecture hall, erased the white board of his lecture notes. One fact he saved for his future lecture was that the universe was expanding not contracting as was originally thought. So rather contracting to the point of, perhaps, another ‘Big Bang’ it will expand into single atoms wandering in space. Nature destroyed along with all the balance which once existed. It made no sense.
* * *
Lowman made his way to his office, excitement in his step. His anticipation of tomorrow’s experiment filled his mind with the possibilities it may contribute to understanding the birth of the universe. He would be counting the hours, the minutes until the experiment was initiated. Wondering at the knowledge to be revealed. It was an experiment in which MIT was a participant, along with a host of other prestigious institutions from all over the world. Prompted by his excitement, he scheduled a meeting with Dr. Volachek, head of the Physics Department, to share his enthusiasm. With a few hours before the meeting was to take place, he returned to the solitude of his office to contemplate what tomorrow’s experiment might reveal. Now he raised the blinds to the dismal gray of the winter’s afternoon.
While sitting at his desk, his eyes wandered over the bookcases lining the walls of his office. He had a love for books since he was a child. During his youth they were his entertainment, and as he grew older, his source of knowledge. He enjoyed being among the thoughts and ideas of the great minds contained in these volumes. Now, with tomorrow’s experiment, he may be witness to a great advancement in the understanding of the universe. The answers to questions great minds had pondered.
With the Hubble telescope and a host of great technologies being developed, questions were being answered and knowledge being gained more rapidly than ever before. The discovery of dark energy and dark matter, once radical concepts, have changed the science of physics. The question is, why does this mysterious dark matter and energy exist? Lowman sat in his office with the only sound the ticking of the old clock sitting on his bookshelf.
As the time of his meeting with Dr. Volchek drew close he donned his overcoat, and through the crisp winter afternoon, made his way to the dean’s office. He had known Dr. Volchek for years. The dean was a good friend and knowledgeable colleague. He entered the office and Dr. Volchek rose and welcomed him with a handshake. “Good to see you, Max. Glad to have someone with whom to share the excitement of tomorrow’s experiment.”
Lowman answered, “I just hope nothing goes wrong. It is an extremely complicated endeavor. This is an international effort with billions of dollars invested. Failure would be heartbreaking.”
The dean replied, “With every experiment there is a risk. But even a failure can produce knowledge. Now relax. Just look forward to the progress we may make in understanding the mysteries of our universe. Tomorrow that device nicknamed, The Hand of God, with gold atoms racing into one another to achieve unbelievable temperatures, will hopefully cause protons and neutrons to break apart into quarks and the gluon particles which hold the quarks together. And then, we hope, the quark – gluon plasma will duplicate the densest material ever created. The material which existed at or immediately after the ‘Big Bang’. Perhaps a Higgs boson. What a mighty contribution to physics that would be. Creating the material unknown to the universe for 18 billion years.”
* * *
That night, at home, his mind was like a whirling dervish. At dinner Max’s wife, Martha, could feel the excitement her husband generated. She said, “Max, calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick. Indigestion will not help you appreciate tomorrow.”
You’re right, Martha. You’re right.”
They finished dinner and spent the remainder of the evening reading. Later, as Martha prepared for bed, Max lie there, his mind working furiously. Once Martha was in bed, she turned off the bedside lamp, kissed Max and said, “I love you.” And he returned that thought. It was their bedtime ritual and meant a great deal to them both. In the darkened room Max turned onto his side. He knew it would take some time to fall asleep, feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve.
The next morning, having spend a fitful night of anticipation, Lowman prepared for work. Before leaving he kissed his wife on the cheek and softly said, “I love you. You make my life worth living.” Martha slightly stirred and smiled.
* * *
The drive to campus seemed to take forever. Lowman had trouble maintaining the speed limit. His excitement transferred to his foot. He parked his car and entered one of the large lecture halls reserved to watch the experiment take place on closed – circuit television and hoped for some kind of immediate results. Dr. Volchek saw Lowman and motioned for him to come over and sit in the seat Volchek saved for him.” The scientists at the ‘Hand of God’ began the introduction of those present at the site and relate a brief history of the journey which led to the experiment.
When that was completed, the experiment was initiated.
Lowman began to consider what knowledge might be discovered but that thought was never completed. In an instant Lowman no longer existed. The universe no longer existed. The balance of nature was revealed. All Lowman’s questions were answered and the answers would remain forever unknown.
Lowman had always been amazed how nature maintained balance. The balance also applied to the Higgs boson. And true to that balance, the experiment produced an anti – Higgs boson. In a thousandth of a trillionth of a second dark matter, using dark energy, compressed all the matter of the universe into the anti – Higgs boson. The entire mass of the universe was now compressed into a minute particle of unbelievable mass. This process had been repeated for an infinite number of times. For infinity. The anti – Higgs boson sat alone in the emptiness of space. And after billions upon billions of years would morph into a Higgs boson prepared to initiate another ‘Big Bang’.
THE END
AND THE BEGINNING
WALT TRIZNA: A NEWARK MEMORY
GRANDPARENTS
My grandparents, my father’s mother and father lived only a few miles outside Newark in Hillside, New Jersey, but they lived in a different world. They came to this country from Czechoslovakia, although my father’s birth certificate listed his parent’s home country as Hungary. The boarders changed in the beginning of the twentieth century thanks to World War I and this might explain discrepancy. They brought with them one daughter and first settled in Newark and then moved to Hillside, which was where my father was raised.
Hillside is a quiet community composed of mostly one- and two-family houses giving it a less dense population than my area of Newark. It had some industry, Bristol Myers had a plant located along the main street of this small community, but for the most part it was a quiet place to live. And even though my grandparents’ street ran perpendicular to the Bristol Myers location, there was very little through traffic. It was a quiet street where you could always find a parking place.
My grandparents owned a double lot with a small house on one side and a garden and lawn on the other. My grandmother loved flowers, especially roses. I remember two long rows of flowers with space between for tending and weeding. The garden area nearest the street was where the rose bushes grew. She had a large assortment of types and whenever we visited we usually came away with a bouquet of roses.
We would usually visit my grandparents on summer evenings after we were finished with supper. We would climb into the car and in ten or fifteen minutes we would be parked in front of their house. Now, in reality, we would be visiting only my grandmother for my grandfather would be fast asleep. Every day of the year, for as long as I could remember he would be in bed by five o’clock. He would have an early dinner then go into the cellar for his one cigarette and his one bottle of beer for the day, then off to bed. So we would arrive at their house in Hillside, pull out the chairs stored under the back stairs and talk with my grandmother, watching the evening come on and looking out at the lightning bugs.
Life seemed to be slow-paced there. You didn’t feel the underlying tenseness that you felt many times while walking Newark’s streets. Even as a young boy I could feel the relaxation coming on as we entered Hillside.
When I was perhaps ten years old, I started going to my grandparents for summer vacation. I was the only child in my family that did this. I would pack my things and spend a week in Hillside, which seemed like an oasis to me, a change of pace from the city life in Newark.
There were a few boys my age that lived on my grandparents’ street. During my first few summers there I spent in the garden catching butterflies by day and lightning bugs at night. During the summer, even in Newark, the bathroom window would be crammed with jars full of various insects and spiders – all for the study of a pre teenage boy. But after a couple of years catching insects in my grandparents’ yard, I ventured out onto their street and made friends with a couple of the other kids in the neighborhood. Then one summer I spent most of my week on the other kid’s front porches, just hanging out, talking and spitting. For some reason they all spit a lot and I acquired the habit.
Another favorite pastime of my vacation on Hillside was walks with my grandfather. We would set out for long walks in the neighborhood or sometimes we would walk to Weequahic Park, which was more than a mile away, so this was a real adventure. He must have been in his 70’s by then. He always seemed to be rather formally dressed for walks with dark pants and a dress shirt, no shorts and tee shirts for grandpa. And he always wore high-topped shoes that would crunch small stones on the sidewalk, for some reason that crunching sound has stayed with me all these years, the confident step of an elderly man who knew the way and allowed me to follow. His eyesight was poor, the result of his profession, an engraver. You could always tell when grandpa was about to say something, which wasn’t often. He had this habit of clearing his throat before he spoke and his voice always sounded a little forced.
On our long walks we would talk, but I really didn’t get to know my grandfather, not really know him, for he never talked about what was important to him. This was long before men were supposed to bear their souls, beat drums and hug. The same was true of my father, never really talked much about what was important to him in his own life, and to some extent the same is true with me. Many times, when there is something really important to me I tend not to discuss it, although I’m sure my children would agree that I can beat a subject to death over dinner. But sometimes the overwhelming daily grind and my personality get in the way of really communicating. So, looking back on those walks, and my life with my father, I am truly their grandson and son.
THE DAY KENEDY DIED
This piece has appeared on my blog in the past but I thought it appropriate that it appears again today.
THE DAY KENNEDY DIED
November is the month of thanksgiving, when the weather no longer bounces between summer and winter, when the chill of fall sets in with a vengeance preparing us for the hard cold of winter. It is also the month Kennedy died.
During November 1963 I was a junior at East Side High School. I already had a deep interest in science and forfeited my study hall to work in the school biology lab. I designed an experiment to study Mendelian heredity. The experiment required two black and two white mice, which I purchased, and began mating the mice in all the various combinations possible, trying to predict the color of the littermates. I soon ran out of space in the cellar where I was keeping my mouse colony and asked permission to move my many mice to school. During the experiment, I took meticulous notes, recording much more than I really needed to. One quirk of the mice, which totally threw off my experimental results, was the fact that they sometimes eat their young. When nervous or upset, they would chew off the chord and wouldn’t know when to stop, leaving only the head and a small piece of protruding backbone. I pressed on, until I began seeing litters of mice with brown siblings, something I had not anticipated. This brought an end to my experiment and an introduction to the unpredictability of science.
It was while I was working in the school lab one November Friday afternoon that someone came in and said that the president had been shot. I recall reacting to the news with horror and disbelief. The emotions of that moment will always stay with me, the sense of experiencing a moment that defied all logic, the vitality of our president in jeopardy. I had the sense that the world had changed; this quiet November afternoon would become a milestone in history. All I knew was that the president had been shot; there was still hope of survival as I headed home from school that day. But as I walked the mile and a half home from school, I saw something I shall never forget, something that dimmed my hope. On my way I saw clusters of people standing on corners and most were crying. The residents of Newark are not known for their emotional displays, so this sight was disturbing. It was the first signal I had that the worst had occurred, that the country, the world had changed forever.
When I reached home, my father was already there, not unusual for he began work early in the morning and was home before me most of the time. I would find him sitting in the kitchen with his beer and paper, but today he was in the parlor watching the TV and he was crying too, something I recalled seeing only once before. The last time I saw my father cry was when my mother lost a baby girl shortly after birth. Ironically, my sister died almost the same time the Kennedy’s lost their child and also for the same reason, underdeveloped lungs. As my father sat weeping before the TV, he told me that the president had died.
The days that followed seemed unreal. Long before the age of cable and satellite dishes, there were just three major networks and a few independent New York stations broadcasting to Newark. All normal broadcasting ceased; TV carried nothing but news and insight into the assassination. On the radio, all normal programming ceased. The radio played nothing but somber music and news of the assassination. Everyone watched the news all weekend, watching history unfold before our eyes. Shortly after Kennedy died, Oswald was captured. The nation viewed live, the instrument of their sorrow. We watched Oswald’s murder at the hands of Jack Ruby, adding confusion on top of the misery. Everyone’s thoughts were in turmoil as these historic events concluded with JFK Jr. saluting his father’s casket.
The day Kennedy died, I learned something of the unpredictability of life.
HOW DOES A WRITERS PRODUCE THEIR MAGIC?
WRITERS, WHERE DO THE IDEAS COME FROM?
Where do the ideas writers use to develop their stories they write come from?
I see major differences between producing fiction and nonfiction. For nonfiction the writer begins with a subject which I’m sure involves an interest and creative thoughts. Then comes the research. Sometimes a massive amount of research, but the writer has a concrete goal. This writing demands skill to create a work of value. And to complete a valued work requires writing skill but little imagination. However, the genre of creative nonfiction does require a creative approach to a nonfiction story..
Now for fiction.
In fiction the writer begins with an idea and then creates something from nothing and hopefully an intriguing story. But where does that initial idea come from along with the details that follow? What triggers the mind of the writer to begin down the road to producing a work of fiction.
I feel the answer lies in experiences and observations, which the writer has undergone on the way to developing their work. Some remembered consciously, but most stored deeply in the writer’s subconscious. We all have exposure to various situations, challenges – some won, some lost. But I feel the writer records these, to a much greater extent, than the nonwriter.
Another difference may be that most people are talkers where the future writer is more of a listener. And what they hear accumulates somewhere in the reaches of their brains. Eventually, this accumulated data on a subject of interest, an idea for a story comes into being with details filled in by the writer’s life. Then there is the skill the writer needs to form an effective story. Can that skill be taught or does it come naturally? I feel the answer is both. So many successful writers have gone through the process of an MFA. But look at all the famous writers who possessed great skill without the benefit of an education in writing. There are so many questions which spring to life when considering what prompts a work of fiction. Could we ever answer that mystical mystery of what process goes into creating a work of fiction? The answer is imagination, but is that an answer, or just fodder for more speculation?
What happens to a writer sitting alone with a pencil and paper or a computer and just begins thinking, I think, is a minor or sometimes major miracle.
FICTION SEEKING TRUTH: A SHORT STORY CONTAINING A TOUCH OF REALITY
Accepted for publication by Bewildering Stories in July 2008.
For those fans of horror, you may recognize multiple incidents described in this story which are not fiction.
FICTION SEEKING TRUTH
Stewart Kingman was a very successful writer of horror stories. What made his fiction popular was that the stories contained a glimmer of truth. He always included an element of nonfiction in his fiction, just enough to add a macabre reality. His mind would wrap around events and give bizarre possibilities to a mundane world.
Kingman would tell his wife Talia, “I feel there is some truth behind all the stories I write. Perhaps some of the unworldly situations I create could be true. Or maybe all this horror shit is just getting to me. People read my books to escape to a world that scares the hell out of them, and they enjoy that world because they can always close the book to escape the horror. What if some of the horror actually existed outside the book? That’s the reason JAWS was so popular – the book was frightening but possible. You could close the book and jump in the ocean and fiction could suddenly become reality and your ass is shark bait.”
“Sure, Dracula had his roots in Vlad the Impaler, but old Vlad was just a weird dude, nothing supernatural. Why does all this shit get published, and some of it is real shit. I think I’m going to take a lesson from my old friend Houdini and look for the truth behind the horror.”
Kingman was fascinated by the life of Harry Houdini, living a public life spent creating illusions and a private life seeking the truth behind the illusion, performing as an escape artist and at the same time a debunker of charlatans claiming to be able to communicate with the dead. Houdini constantly tried to communicate with his dead mother and his efforts only resulted in exposing one fake after another. As he was dying, he told his wife he would beckon to her from the grave but as far as anyone knows, he never succeeded.
Stewart did not discuss his theory of the truth behind fiction any further with Talia, but she knew that he was doing research on the topic. He had a vast library of folklore he used to give him ideas for his stories. He was now spending a great deal of time rereading some of his favorite volumes.
Along with this work, he was doing something new. He had begun getting involved with his fan mail. He had a publicist with a staff of five who handled the vast quantity of mail he received. Letters arrived requesting a copy of his picture and relating how Stewart Kingman was their favorite author.
He decided to take a closer look at his fan mail himself to see if anyone mentioned a true occurrence, something that defied known reality.
Kingman rapidly discovered why he did not get involved with his fan mail. He received letters from fans who were mating with monsters, having their minds controlled by alien forces or by your run-of-the-mill witch, which might also led to mating. He corresponded with them all, seeking out the faintest glimmer of fact the wacko stories might contain, but there was none.
The letter Kingman was searching for arrived late that spring.
Dear Mr. Kingman,
I can’t say I’ve read all your books, but the ones I’ve read I’ve enjoyed.
I was wondering if you ever thought of writing a story about someone who had something happen to him and wound up being able to control the future.
Yours truly,
Frank Talbot
Kingman wrote to Talbot requesting more detail. A few weeks later another letter arrived from Talbot, a longer letter containing much more detail.
Dear Mr. Kingman,
It took me a long time to sit down and write this letter. On one hand, I can’t believe I’m corresponding with you, on the other hand, you’ll think I’m nuts.
I’m a lineman in Massachusetts and last winter we had an ice storm from hell. I was up on a pole, after working I don’t know how many hours, when I wasn’t careful and touched a live wire. My work crew told me the rest of the details. They lowered me from the pole and I wasn’t breathing. They took turns doing CPR and got me going again. The ambulance came, and on the way to the hospital I tried to leave this world again. The ambulance driver gave me a jolt with the defibrillator, and I returned to the living once more.
Now comes the weird part that you might not believe but I swear its true.
I was off from work for a couple of weeks, and it’s during this time that strange things began to happen. I was sitting in the living room when the TV suddenly came on. On the TV was a news special and the guy reading the news looked like living death, definitely a strange looking dude. Just before the set came on I was thinking about my kid brother who’s in the army stationed in Iraq and how great it would be to see him. Then this guy on the TV, looking like an extra from Dawn of the Living Dead says the 85th armor division is coming home – my brother’s outfit. The screen then went blank.
Here’s the really creepy part; the TV wasn’t plugged in. So now you’re sure I’m nuts, but I swear it’s the truth. It’s happened a few times since. My mind wanders as I’m sitting in front of the TV when Mr. Death Warmed Over comes on the air and makes an announcement. I don’t know where the broadcasts come from and I don’t know how the TV got unplugged. Maybe I had some sort of seizure and unplugged it before the broadcast began. I don’t know.
Anyway, I’ve included my telephone number if you want to call me.
Yours truly,
Frank Talbot
Kingman read the letter over and over. The guy sounded like the genuine article. He gave Talbot a call and arranged to pay him a visit. The drive from Kingman’s home in Maine to Talbot’s in Massachusetts would not take long and might be a nice getaway. Kingman loved long drives and who knew, some of this might actually be true.
On a pleasant May morning, Kingman set out for Frank Talbot’s house. He drove onto I-95 planning to take the interstate into Massachusetts. The traffic was unusually light, and as he approached the Massachusetts boarder, Kingman found that the only vehicle other than his was a tractor-trailer hauling a sailboat, shrink – wrapped in blue plastic down the highway in front of him.
Kingman had the cruise control set on his SUV and the tunes playing. He was slightly daydreaming when the daydream became a nightmare. The sailboat somehow fell off the trailer and was pin wheeling down the highway heading straight for him. The weight of the rudder caused the boat to spin faster and faster. What followed was pure luck. He swerved to the far left lane of the three-lane highway with the spinning boat rapidly approaching him. When he was sure he was going to die, the mast swept over his SUV inches above the roof. If the boat had been a little smaller and the mast closer to the ground as the boat lay on its side, he would have become a giant Kingman kabob. He pulled onto the shoulder and sat there until his shaking hands could again grip the steering wheel. The rest of the trip was uneventful.
He found Talbot’s house without much trouble and pulled into the driveway of a modest ranch. He was about to knock on the door when it opened and there stood Frank Talbot, an average looking guy about thirty years of age. Before Kingman could say hello, Talbot said, “Glad the sailboat missed you.” This caught Kingman totally by surprise.
“How in the hell did you know about the boat?” but Kingman instantly knew the answer to his own question. “You saw it on TV.”
Talbot replied, “I had to find a way to convince you that what I was experiencing was real. I must have invented the accident in my subconscious, something that would cause you no harm but get your attention. I caught Mr. Death’s broadcast just before you pulled into my driveway.”
“You definitely got my attention,” Kingman said. The two men then sat and talked for hours, and when Kingman left he already had the outline for a book. Deciding it would be fiction but with an introduction dealing with the facts behind the fiction, Kingman began writing the book.
It was late summer, and the writing was progressing well. Kingman loved walking the country roads near his property. On an August evening, he set out walking and thinking of the day’s writing and what he would put down on paper next. He never heard the approaching van.
Kingman awoke in the hospital with more pain than he had ever experienced in his life. A young doctor told him of his multiple fractures but reassured him that he would walk again. The doctor also told him that his heart had stopped twice in the ambulance due to the trauma his body had endured. “They defibrillated you,” the doctor said.
Kingman’s recovery took a long time and rehabilitation was painful. Shortly after the accident he learned that the driver of the van, already cited twice for reckless driving, blamed Kingman for the accident. He said that Kingman shouldn’t have been walking on the road. Kingman felt a rage he had never felt before. His pain was excruciating. The painkillers destroyed his writing. He spent hours just dwelling on the accident, the insane accusations of the van driver and how the whole thing had changed his life.
Fall arrived, the changing leaves brightened the countryside, and Kingman took his first steps with the use of two canes. Every step delivered agony, but now he knew he would walk again. He still hated the driver that struck him but suppressed it as he tried to overcome the pain and hoped he would be able to write soon.
The trees were now bare; fall was setting the landscape for winter. Kingman still could not write. He would spend hours thinking of plots and characters, but when he sat down to put words to paper, nothing would come.
Late one afternoon, as the shadows lengthened, Kingman sat alone in his family room. A short walk had left him exhausted and his legs were screaming with pain. Suddenly, the TV lit the room. On the screen, an announcer looking near death related the news of a suicide and produced a picture. It was a picture of the driver that struck him. Kingman glanced at the TV’s plug and a slight smile crossed his lips.
THE END
WHAT DA VINCI SAID
WHAT DA VINCI SAID
In my last post I mentioned that I worked to leave a record. I feel most creative people (I feel it takes some nerve to call myself creative) somewhere in the corridors of their mind consider that purpose while they are producing their work.
Where my thoughts on this subject began was after I read Walter Isaacson’s excellent biography of Leonardo da Vinci. If you were at all interested in da Vinci’s life and work I highly recommend this book.
It is thought that if da Vinci had been alive today he would probably been on medication. He had difficulty completing a project. His most famous work, the Mona Lisa, was commissioned by a husband as a portrait of his wife. The husband never received the portrait, and da Vinci carried it with him wherever he went for the rest of his life occasionally adding a few brush strokes.
He was known to be a hard worker and when someone asked him why he worked so hard he said, “I want people to know I was here.”
WHO ARE ‘THEY’?
WHO ARE ‘THEY’?
I keep my blog with a purpose in mind. Leaving a record of my existence, my thoughts and the work I produced. That someday someone might stumble upon my blog and say, “Jesus Christ, this guy’s stories are pretty good.” One can only hope. But the internet has provided, for me, some competitors.
My record, I believe, will be drowned out for today everyone with a cell phone is also leaving behind a record whether they want to or not. The question is, how long will that record exist? For some, too long.
While using your cell phone ‘they’ know where you are and where you have been. ‘They’ have recorded your phone calls. For proof, listen to the news and see how many criminals have been caught through their phone calls. I don’t think they record only the phone calls of criminals.
‘They’ also record your past texts. Ask Fox News about that. Also, it seems that past texts, thought to be erased, still exist somewhere out there. Proof of this is how past texts, thought to be erased, bite people, especially politicians, some who change their opinions as much as they change their underwear depending which direction the wind is blowing. They change their opinions to save their careers, but their past opinions still exist.
This installment poses the question, who are ‘they’? And further, how long do ‘they’ keep the information ‘they’ obtain. And to whom do ‘they’ give this information to other than law enforcement? Are there nefarious actors involved in this distribution? So many important questions which could play a part in your future.
WALT TRIZNA: ON THE ROAD TO MISSILES
ON THE ROAD TO MISSILES
After my check ride the handwriting was not only on the wall, it covered every wall, the ceiling and floor.
Also, a formal hearing was held with a panel listening to the testimony of my instructors. These were guys I sat next to in the T37. With what they related about their experience with me. That I was a complete moron when it came to flying the jet. Unfortunately, they were right. I’m surprised that, during the hearing, hand me a stick of gum and challenge me to walk knowing for sure that I would fall.
During the hearing I was asked if I wanted another chance and reenter pilot training. I was more than familiar with the handwriting all over the room and declined. Then they asked me if I would like to train to be a navigator. And I’m thinking how this would work out with my nonexistent sense of direction.
At the end of the hearing, I was given a phone number to call, if I remember right it was a phone number to Randolf Air Force Base, and I would be given a list of assignments from which I could select my future in the air force. I think that it was highly unusual to be given you choice of what you wanted to do in the military.
After the hearing I had to turn in some of the equipment I was issued when I began pilot training. During each encounter when the person I was dealing with learned that I had washed out I fully expected to be given another stick of gum.
I made the call to Randolf and one of the possibilities I was offered was missile duty. I had heard that while you were on a missile crew there was often the ability to study at a college. I thought that going to graduate school might be a good idea since my education was in science and that science changes so rapidly that being away from science for four years would not make it easy to get a job. I did not plan on a recession during 1973 while I was looking for a job and even with graduate school under my belt it still took me nearly a year to find employment. More on that later.
On thing I did not know when I made my choice for missiles I was guaranteed to be assigned to missile the air force was having trouble getting officers to serve on crews. This was ever with the fact that this was during the Viet Nam war, and you were guaranteed not to leave the United States for four years because of the extensive training involved. The air force was having so much trouble getting officers for missile crews that they lowered the requirements for OTS (officer training school). In no time at all I received orders to report to Sheppard Air Force Base in Wichita Falls, Texas to begin missile training for my career in missiles.
WALT TRIZNA: PILOT TRAINING, AN END AND A BEGINNING
I thought I would use the next series of posts to relate my experience while a member of the United States Air Force (1969-1973). I found my experience in the military to be rewarding. We will begin with my entering pilot training. For those who find these posts interesting you might want to read a past post about my time in college posted on 10/17/2025. This post leads into my time in the air force.
PILOT TRAINING, PART I
It was a beautiful Sunday morning. The class was loaded onto a bus and headed toward the runway. But there was no flying today. And we were headed not for the runways but to the grassy area between the runways.
It was parachute time.
The way this was accomplished was by putting a parachute harness with an exposed parachute on your backs. A couple men would hold the parachute open so that it would fully open when the 500-foot rope attached to the front of the harness and the other end attached to a jeep and the jeep began to move. When the jeep did start to move you ran for about two or three steps and up you went.
Before I went aloft one guy hooking up my harness looked into my eyes. They must have been fully dilated because he asked me if I was scared. I was scared shitless.
The ride up once the parachute was inflated was great. When you stopped gaining altitude and came to a stop, the view was fantastic. Then the rope was released from the jeep, and you were on the way down. This part was terrifying.
I remember looking down and thinking that I don’t want to impact the ground. How do I avoid impacting the ground? Of course, this was an extremely stupid thought for the ground was rapidly coming up to meet me. And before I knew it we did meet, and I didn’t break anything.
Now to the problems I had with flying.
To start off, when you were on the runway in the T37, before you took off, you ran the engines, holding down the brakes which were also the rudder pedals, up full. Turns out the engines were stronger than my legs and the plane would ever so slowly turn to the left. After straightening the plane, we took off.
My next problem was the windshield which, in the jet, had a different shape than the two propeller planes I flew. My mind could not make the change between the two types, so I was flying with the image of the prop plane in my mind. Therefore, I was constantly flying with a slight bank to the left. A simple look at my instruments could have corrected this. Didn’t do it.
Then there was the trim.
The trim was meant to make it easy to control the aircraft. There were small flaps on the tail trailing edges controlled by a button on the top of the stick. If you had the plane trimmed up right you could let go of the stick and the plane would not change the attitude in which it was flying. My instructor could let go of the stick while making a turn and the plane would just continue making the turn. He had the plane trimmed that well. If I was flying and let go of the stick we would have crashed. Never got the hang of the trim.
Now the major problem I had with the difference between the prop plane and the jet with power control.
With the prop plane, when you needed power you pushed the throttle forward and power was instantly available. In the jet you pushed the throttle forward and it took some time for the engine to wind up and provide the power you needed. You had to be able to anticipate your power needs. In fact, in the T37 there were thrust attenuators which came out behind the engines when you were set up to land. So, if you ran into trouble when landing you raised your landing gear, the thrust attenuators were retracted, and you instantly had more power.
With all these deficiencies it was determined that a check-ride was called for. That ride was scheduled for Labor Day, 1969. This flight would determine whether or not I should continue in the pilot training program.
Before you took off, you first had to complete the preflight checklist. I walked around the plane checking what needed to be checked. As I was about to climb into the plane, stepping onto the ejection seat the instructor was already sitting in the right seat. He looks at me and holds up a pin with a small red flag attached. Now, this pin was inserted in the bottom of the ejection seat to ensure that you did not accidentally eject yourself from the aircraft as you climbed in. I forgot to check the pin. The instructor had removed it and I didn’t notice it was missing. So, in reality I had probably failed the ride before I had even left the ground. The ability I demonstrated during the flight further sealed my fate.
To confirm what I was sure was true, while walking away from the plane the instructor asked, “Well, Lieutenant Trizna, what else would you like to do in the air force?”
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